Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
