its not stalking. its research.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
