saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize