Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
