I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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