dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
