I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sober January is a disaster.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
