The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
