sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I will pee on everything he values.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
