i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
