The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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