Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
