It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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