found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
