I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize