Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
