Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
