i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize