so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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