I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
