you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
