what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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