I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
