seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize