im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
