why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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