why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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