Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
