it wasn't lemon gatorade
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
