My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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