Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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