I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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