She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she pinky promised me she was 18
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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