Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
