he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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