I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
