I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
