she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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