I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
