So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
