For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
