He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
