Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
