She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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