Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
