Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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