I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
