remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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