I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize