Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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