Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
