He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
