found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She's the barista slut.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
