i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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