i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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