It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
