You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think my vagina is haunted
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
