At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
