Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize