I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
