Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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