She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
