the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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