marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
