next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
