I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
