Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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