I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
